Stepping Out of the Zone of Fire

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In hierarchal organizations, people are encouraged to have a clear Zone of Fire. Zone of Fire is a concept from the military. If you are in a firing line, you are assigned a defined area, your Zone of Fire. If an enemy enters your Zone, you fire; if an enemy enters somebody else’s area, you don’t fire. Your job is to keep your eye on your own Zone and to ignore the rest.

ZoneofFireFig
Women are punished for being “outspoken” when they step outside of their designated Zone of Fire.

 

Zone of Fire is the fundamental basis of hierarchy. Most organizations are divided into divisions and groups within those divisions, each with a defined purpose. Though you would be hard pressed to find an organization that claims they encourage silos, the Zone of Fire is quite strictly enforced.

Here’s an example from many years in my past. I disagreed with the email policy of a former employer. Wanting to be proactive, I found the name of the executive in charge of IT and send him a polite email expressing why I thought the policy should be changed. I felt good about taking action. Instead of just complaining to my colleagues, I had opened the possibility that the policy could be changed.

Alas, email policy was far outside of my Zone of Fire. The result was a negative mention in my annual review, some six months later. The comment was not that I should stay within my Zone, or mind my own business. The Zone of Fire is seldom acknowledged so transparently. Instead, I was told I should have called instead of emailed. Looking back, I am confident that a phone call would have been met with the same reaction.

I’ve lived in hierarchies for over 20 years, and I only started to understand the Zone of Fire within the past 6 months. Why has it taken me so long? Because the Zone of Fire is as unnatural to women as it is presumed by men. And even now that I understand the Zone of Fire, I find it almost impossible to obey the rules of the Zone.

When women hear about a problem, they tend to speak up, regardless of whether it falls within their Zone of Fire. Why? Because they care about the organization, and they have a sincere belief that management will “want to know.” And if they were in the same situation, they would indeed want to know.

For men, it is more important to respect the Zone of Fire of an adjacent manager. For men, expressing concern would convey a lack of confidence that the adjacent manager is able to effectively control their Zone of Fire.

The Zone of Fire is one reason why female leaders have ubiquitously been told they are too outspoken. It’s not merely a judgment that they are too assertive. They are speaking outside of their Zone of Fire and disobeying the rules of the hierarchy. Rules that they do not instinctually understand.

I’ve written before about my belief that the ability to synthesize diverse perspectives will be the competitive advantage of the future. Loosening the grip of the Zone of Fire within our organizations is one step we can take towards that future.

Diversity is Our Future

Nicki Pozos1 Comment

Abstract background of multi-colored cubes

The world has changed. As an engineer, I remember when engineering was the hard stuff. Now, when I look at major projects, the engineering is rarely the greatest hurdle a project has to overcome. The hard stuff is getting rate payers to accept the rate increases needed to maintain and build new infrastructure. Getting the buy-in of neighbors affected by projects that may not benefit them. Addressing impacts to our natural resources in a way that maintains affordability. Balancing the needs of today with the needs of tomorrow.

The challenges of today are distinctly different from those of the past:

  • Our challenges are multi-faceted – there is no one person with the expertise to address these challenges. The list of needed expertise is long: engineering (we are still on the list!), community engagement, public affairs, environmental science, asset management, risk analysis, sustainability, and on and on.
  • The boundaries around our problems are getting fuzzy – The public wants public agencies to work together and develop projects that meet multiple needs. This is not just a matter of “What’s in it for me?” It’s a growing recognition that multi-benefit projects represent the greatest overall value to the community for their investment dollars. Especially as engineers, our nature is to put a hard boundary around a project, clearly delineating what is in and what is out. We need to see projects with new eyes, seeing how they interconnect with the community and the world.
  • We cannot face our challenges in isolation – Total demands on our water resources and our funding are outstripping supply. This is driving the integrated, one water approach bringing together water, wastewater, and surface water. It is also driving our integration with agencies and interests we may not have interfaced with in the past. We are now living in a world of complex partnerships and decision making structures, and the path forward is much less linear.

All of these challenges demand more than just individual innovation. Meeting challenges now requires the synthesis of many ideas and perspectives into solutions that no single individual could have developed. The challenges of today demand diversity. Diversity of thinking, diversity of expertise, diversity of background, diversity of relationships. Organizations that are able to harness diversity, to synthesize rather than homogenize, will have a distinct competitive advantage in the future.

One misconception about diversity is that diversity is just about getting more women and people of color into leadership roles. The misconception is that we can achieve diversity without transforming our organizations, without transforming our thinking. This fallacy is one of the reasons why we haven’t seen more progress in diversity in the leadership of our organizations.

A diverse organization is one where many voices can be heard. Where people are open to new ideas, no matter where they come from in the hierarchy. Where people are willing to put in the effort to challenge their own thinking. Where leaders are harnessing the ideas and vision of the whole organization. Where everyone is accountable for fully taking their seat at the table. Where bringing the full breadth of one’s experience and thinking to work is not just tolerated, it’s a core part of the organization’s success.

The characteristics of a diverse organization are the same characteristics we need to face the challenges of today. We need to change our organizations and change our thinking. As stewards of our precious water resources, it is not only the right thing to do, it is the necessary.

Four Ways to Show Your Daughter How to Be Powerful (While Maintaining Your Sanity)

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photo2 for powerful girls

Make faces! Eat like a normal person! Have boundaries! Cut it with the freakin guilt!

If we want to raise powerful girls, we don’t need to just tell them about it, we need to show them how to do it. As modern parents we tend to spend a heck of a lot of time worrying about how we are raising our kids. But most of the focus is on the kids – are they eating the right things? Watching too much TV? Getting enough discipline? But what about us? In the end, our kids are learning just as much (if not more) from who we are being as they are from how we are parenting.

If we think more about the “who we are being” aspect of parenting, and less about the “am I being a perfect parent” part, maybe we could have some fun! So here are my ideas on how to raise a kick-ass girl!

  1. Make faces

I think we’ve all seen the mom who would rather hide behind the camera than have to go in front of it. No doubt your husband is out there hamming it up for the camera, making faces, silly poses, and god knows what else. But when the camera turns your way, you get uncomfortable being at the center of attention, maybe tossing out a comment about how awful you look or how you are having a bad hair day. Stop it already! Our girls are watching and noticing that men have a good time in the spotlight, whereas women avoid it. How are our girls to lead without being comfortable with attention? So, be a good mom, when the camera turns to you, give a big smile, and maybe a pig nose.

  1. Eat like a normal person

I know, I know, you have food sensitivities and you are on a diet. That’s fine, I’m not asking you to eat anything that will make you sick or to consume 10,000 calories in a single sitting. But, if the whole family is having pancakes, could you please just eat one? And yes, with the damn syrup. Do I hope my kids eat healthfully when they grow up? Absolutely. But even more so, I hope that they have a positive relationship with food so that they can enjoy food for the magnificent pleasure that it is. But how can they, if their mom won’t eat pie? (Or appropriate gluten-free alternative)

  1. Have boundaries

I have a confession to make – sometimes I really need to get away from my children, but they are still there, in my house. Touching me.  So I tell them to get away from me. Literally “get away from me, don’t touch me.” Cause sometimes I just need some space. Now, I’m pretty sure there are some parents who are thinking this is a low point in parenting, that I should suck it up and give up a snuggle. But seriously, they are touching me and I don’t feel like being touched. I think we are good at setting boundaries for our kids (time out if you do that again) but bad at letting ourselves have boundaries with our kids. I’m going to put out a (perhaps self-serving) theory that it is a good thing to teach girls that it is okay to have boundaries. Even if you wanted to snuggle the last 150 times, today you need some space, so get away from me.  Really. Unless you have a boo boo.

  1. Cut it with the freaking guilt

Seriously, stop it already. What is all that guilt teaching them? That no matter how hard you try, you can never be good enough. That love is only real with a serving of guilt on top. That only perfection will do. Is that what we want them to believe? So, for the sake of your children, cut it with the mother guilt. Okay, fine if you want to indulge during a weekend in Vegas or a long business trip, but does it have to be every damn day? You are good enough. And frankly, if you aren’t good enough, all that guilt ain’t making you any better.

5 Completely Obvious Things Anyone Could List

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As somebody new to twitter who has been reading a whole lot of blog posts lately, I can’t help but notice that the quality is, shall we say, highly variable. I’m pretty sure I could spend my whole life just reading lists of completely obvious things, so here’s my list.

  1. If you want to be trusted you need to trust people first

This really should be obvious, but I’ve noticed it is a bit of a blind spot for those who have a hard time trusting. They think trust is something you can just earn or give away, like a coin. Actually, trust is more like a phone connection, it’s not there unless both of you are on the line.

Phone connection trust illustration

  1. Don’t be mean, people don’t like that

Let’s be honest, leaders have to say a lot of hard things. Some of those things, people aren’t going to like. But, there is a big difference between saying things that are hard and being mean, and people notice. Indeed, a coworker once noted it was mysterious to him that I am really tough but people don’t hate my guts. He pinned it down to “you are never mean to people.” Whaddayaknow? That actually makes a difference!

  1. You can curse with people, but not at them

I actually offered this up as a piece of mentoring advice to a protégé about a month ago. It was a bit tongue in cheek, but in my opinion, rather sound advice. Cursing in the workplace can be fun, it builds camaraderie in the tough times, helps break the ice, can help build authentic trust (I swear!). But you absolutely must not swear at people. Because that is mean, and rude, and you will regret it.

  1. If you want to be respected, you absolutely must not show the world your cleavage

I work in a male-dominated field, so I realize this rule may not apply everywhere. But I imagine it applies most places. If you want to be respected, you need to keep it under wraps, because once you have revealed yourself, so to speak, it just can’t be undone. I’ve seen a lot of younger professionals make the mistake of too sexy clothing or the friendly flirt. Great if you intend to stay a junior engineer forever, not so great if you plan to advance in the world. Now in case you want to accuse me of being sexist, I will note that this rule applies equally to men.

  1. Everyone is afraid

I’m going to admit that everyone is not equally afraid. But they are afraid. Knowing this fact is one of the keys to confidence. People who lack confidence manage to think they are the only ones. Several years ago I had a coworker say to me “But Nicki, you aren’t ever afraid are you?” Well, yes indeed I am, very frequently, just like everyone else. You know why? Because I am not a sociopath.

Hmm, now I am getting the urge to write 5 completely obvious things about parenting. Sounds risky, but I hear fear is completely natural!

Transformation starts with meeting people where they are

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Are you standing your ground and missing an opportunity to make a difference?

This year I had the pleasure to attend a Duarte training based on the books Resonate and Slideology. I learned a lot about presentations, but also something more. I realized that transformation starts with meeting people where they are. In Duarte we were talking about connecting emotionally during presentations, at the heart center, but it is equally as true at the gut center and head center. And here’s how:

  1. Connecting Emotionally at the Heart Center

I’ve done a whole lot of PowerPoint in my life, but I learned one thing at the training that transformed the way I see presentations. In the past I’ve thought a lot about walking the audience through a story, but Resonate takes it a step further by focusing on the audience’s emotional state ~ both where they are at now and where you want to take them. Nancy Duarte (@nancyduarte) also discovered a pattern common to great speeches, where they alternate between where the audience is now and the future condition you want to take them to. People are not transformed in the first iteration, you have to keep going back to bring them with you!

  1. Connecting Energetically at the Gut Center

For the gut center, it made me think of the amazing book “Winning Body Language” by Mark Bowden. One topic Mark covers is four “planes” at which you can hold your arms, which correspond with increasing levels of energy as your arms move up through the levels. They start with the Grotesque Plane with arms at your sides all the way through the Ecstatic Plane with your arms above shoulder level. That correlation is in itself fascinating (and I highly recommend the book) but the aspect that relates to transformation is the fact that if you want to change the energy level of an audience you need to start by meeting them where they are. Indeed, if you are more than one level separated from your audience, you will feel dissonant. I imagine you may have experienced this, being in a pretty “dead” audience first thing in the morning and being subjected to a very high energy presenter. When the audience energy is low, the high energy speaker feels more manic than energizing! As a high-energy person who works with a lot of lower energy engineers, I use the techniques in the book to consciously bring my energy level down.

  1. Connecting Intellectually at the Head Center

When it comes to the head center, it makes me think of a conversation I had with a protégé some months ago. She is passionate about changing the organization she works for, intentionally deviating from organizational norms in an effort to show an alternate way of thinking. Instinctually, her reaction when a small action doesn’t create change is to try an even larger action. I have to admit I was doing pretty much exactly the same thing when I was in my twenties. The greatest insight of my twenties could be well summed up as, “people don’t care about what they don’t care about.” The advice I gave her is that if she wants to change the organization she needs to start by meeting the company leadership where they are, then help them move from that position. It doesn’t work to just stand in her corner and yell louder and louder.

So how does this apply to leadership? As leaders we can use the same principle ~ transformation starts with meeting people where they are. This means acknowledging and connecting with where they are energetically, emotionally and intellectually then moving them towards a different future. Joining them where they are is commiseration, talking about a positive future disconnected from current reality is just dissonance. Taking them on a journey from where they are to a new place ~ now that is leadership.

What about you? Is there a situation in your life where you are holding your ground and missing an opportunity for transformation?

#Womensleadership #GenY #leadershipdevelopment #resonate #bodylanguage

Who would we be without our story?

Nicki Pozos2 Comments

I had lunch yesterday with a pretty amazing GenX. Yes, he is another engineer, but he dreams of changing the school system so that personal development gets as big a play as chemistry or physics. Of course, he pointed out that this dream would never happen because he thought it improbable that Obama was going to call him up to revise national curriculum standards. Alas, this made me think of some pretty (non) amazing thing about our generation.

1. The oh so defeating habit of black and white thinking. The way he was seeing it was either (A) Obama calls or (B) there is nothing to be done. This kind of thinking is common, not only among GenX. But I think in our case it may just be somewhat conveniently self-defeating. We manage to make the dream side of the equation so overwhelmingly huge and impossible, that we can’t help but choose not to pursue it. Of course, in reality, there are all sorts of shades of gray. Because he’s right – Obama is not going to call.

2. We are constantly cutting ourselves off at the knees. There is something about the “practical” tendencies of GenX that can really get in the way of being clear about what we want. We are so busy arranging and modifying what we want based on what we think is possible, that it is hard to remember what we were wanting in the first place. I am not a believer that everyone can live their passion or dream exactly how they want it (and still make a living). But, I do think there is something to be said for actually being clear on what you want.

3. We could learn a lot from GenY. Needless to say, there are many things they could learn from us. But, one thing they’ve got down is they being clear on what they like and want. Perhaps it’s because they’ve been declaring their preferences online since they were kids, or because they grew up in a child-centric world, but I just don’t see the same tendency to let practicality get in the way of their passion. They are frankly much worse at faking interest in things they aren’t interested in, whereas we have a pretty easy time focusing on assimilating skills that are marketable, whether or not we find them personally interesting or fulfilling. There is something really pure about that aspect of GenY – aside from making for a lot of highly entertaining YouTube Videos it also creates a lot of possibilities for change in the world.

It all made me think about the words of Byron Katie “Who would you be without your story?” Who would we be without our story? This story we have about being powerless and unable to create the changes we want to see in the world. What would the world be like without our story?

As for my friend, he did end up envisioning all sorts of possibilities that were not so far beyond his reach. Which is a good thing, because the world needs us and our ideas. If you dropped your story, how would you be changing the world?

The ambivalent overachiever – a new GenX breed?

Nicki Pozos7 Comments

Overachievers of past generations seemed to aim straight for the top – seemingly to presume that if you could get to the top that you should. Alas, I believe GenX has created a new breed – the ambivalent overachiever. This breed is not so obsessed with whether they can get to the top, but whether they want to. There is a sense that such ambivalence would not be so appreciated by the powers that be, so most ambivalent overachievers are out there masquerading as “normal” dedicated employees. They are indeed often quite successful, as GenXers tend to be rather perceptive about how to play the game (if they choose to play it).

The overachievement part is motivated by a variety of factors. First and foremost – success gives you options. And every GenX knows that options are power. Overachievement probably means you can walk out the door, if things are not working out. Very important even if you are actually quite happy with your current employment. 

Of course, ambivalent or not, many of us overachieve simply because we actually care about what we are doing. Even if it not our dream job (our Plan F), there is some meaning to be gained from just doing something well, to doing your best. Part of this is not just about what we are doing, but who we are doing it for. Though GenXers are notoriously cynical about organizations, we can still be inspired by and loyal to people ~ whether those people are clients, coworkers, or “the boss.”

The question is, can this breed become the next generation of leaders? Can leadership and ambivalence coexist? It seems that the GenX habit of having one foot subconsciously out the door may be incompatible with leadership. Or maybe it is just going to change the way leadership looks and feels. The question is, can you be an effective leader in an organization without drinking the kool-aid? What do you think?

Statistically speaking, we’re about to get more miserable

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According to the economist I am about to take a big dive in life satisfaction – well, actually, it’s “self-reported well being.” As if we GenXers didn’t have it hard enough, it seems that regardless of generational cohort, life satisfaction takes a dive starting in the late 30s and bottoming out at around 50. The way I see it, the bad news is that our life satisfication should be steadily decreasing right now – the good news is that we’re not 50 yet.

The question is what to do about this trend. I can really understand that, given all that people have going on in their 30s and 40s it can be pretty difficult to make space for those things that may increase our sense of happiness. They do note that having children in the house tends to lower one’s score, so I suppose I could just hold my breath until the kids leave. But as Nadia is only 2 months old, this doesn’t seem like a particularly good plan. It seems their main theory is that as we age we are more able to live in the present and be less judgemental and reactive.

The good news about statistics is that you can always beat the mean.

It makes me wonder about how much in these decades we are resisting our lives – resisting the actual careers, children, and homes we have. Striving for the next thing – or perhaps just pining for something different. Or perhaps it’s just that constant stress of feeling that we never have enough time to get to what’s important. The question is how can we still strive to make our lives better and more meaningful, without resisting our lives the way they are now? 

So, my challenge for 2011 is to try to create more time/energy in my life. Because it’s not so much that my life takes up all my time, as much as it takes up all my energy. And I do believe much of that energy drain is indeed resistance to what already is. So, my plan is to use a trick – engage in activities that create energy in the little time that I have, thereby creating more energy/time. That, and do my darndest to not resist all the time I need to spend on all the other necessary things in my life. Hmm, we’ll have to see how that one works out!

Anyone out there been successful in bending the time/space continium and creating the sense of more time?

Can GenX have its cake and eat it too?

Nicki Pozos6 Comments

For many GenExers, empowerment at work is defined as knowing that they can walk out whenever they want. In my experience, they usually have a back-up plan to facilitiate this sense of “security” which I’ll call Plan B – this is the sensible back-up plan, comprised of everything from building marketable skills to knowing which other firms might hire you in a pinch. A GenXer without a Plan B is an unhappy GenXer.

But this isn’t the only back-up plan. Most GenExers I know have a Plan F – which would be Plan Fantasy. This invariably includes starting their own business of some sort – which is why I used to refer to this as the “retail phenomenon.” I had noticed that many of my peers harbored dreams of starting some sort of retail business – bakeries, clothing stores, flower shopes, the list goes on. The important thing was that it represented a strong personal interest – basically, it’s a business that is a true expression of the individual ( a strong source of meaning for GenX). Most GenXers dream of quitting their regular job and living their Plan F . However, because of a combination of GenX practicality and cynicism, few of these Plan Fs ever see the light.

So, I’m going to throw out an idea that maybe GenX should take a middle road – of having their cake and eating it too. Meaning, having their meaning (dream) and keeping their corporate job. Perhaps it is not just a choice between working for the man (financial security) and taking Plan F (having a meaningful life). Maybe what is needed is a new army of part-time workers who spend half their time in corporate america, and the other half building businesses that reflect their passions. I would hypothesize that the energizing effect of the side businesses would in many cases improve performance in their corporate jobs.

It is considered completely acceptable at many companies for mothers to work part-time when they have small children (and I’m sure at some enlightened companies this attitude would extend to dads). But working part-time to engage in another business activity would be seen as just a step out the door. But what if it were not? Would this finally engage GenXers en masse in their organizations?

Smokers give me hope

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When I was in college I remember my boyfriend (yes, I’m talking about you Mike) insisting on walking on the road side of the sidewalk. I found this to be quite a ridiculous convention, pretending to periodically attempt to fling myself into oncoming traffic.

I would still be more than willing to give up such formal manners. But I do find myself missing some common courtesies. Namely, now that I am often accompanied by a stroller, I am horrified to realize how infrequently strangers offer to hold the door open for me. Yes, people just stand there are watch me struggle, apparently with no thought to just hold the door open. This includes people who are actually WAITING to go through the door!

Similarly, here in Portland, cars see almost no reason to ever stop to let someone cross. This includes a woman who is 8 months pregnant, carrying a 2-year old, who is at a crosswalk. I can very reasonably describe this as commonplace (even the statistical median of my experience).

Now, back to the smokers. Funny enough, the most common courtesy I witness in my area of town is from smokers. I find that when smokers see me approaching with a stroller, they routinely hold their cigarette away from me to keep the smoke away from my kids. This simple act of consideration is usually delivered with a smile.

Mind you, I happen to hate cigarette smoke. And I really understand that younger generations are not so commited to conventions of the past. But please, can’t we just let go of the “rules” that don’t make any sense, while still maintaining some level of social decency! Apparently, for all they are often either vilified or disparaged, smokers seem to be the last decent people living in my neighborhood. So, long live the smokers – hmm, oxymoron?