employee engagement

engaging younger workers in corporate environments

5 Completely Obvious Things Anyone Could List

Nicki PozosLeave a comment

As somebody new to twitter who has been reading a whole lot of blog posts lately, I can’t help but notice that the quality is, shall we say, highly variable. I’m pretty sure I could spend my whole life just reading lists of completely obvious things, so here’s my list.

  1. If you want to be trusted you need to trust people first

This really should be obvious, but I’ve noticed it is a bit of a blind spot for those who have a hard time trusting. They think trust is something you can just earn or give away, like a coin. Actually, trust is more like a phone connection, it’s not there unless both of you are on the line.

Phone connection trust illustration

  1. Don’t be mean, people don’t like that

Let’s be honest, leaders have to say a lot of hard things. Some of those things, people aren’t going to like. But, there is a big difference between saying things that are hard and being mean, and people notice. Indeed, a coworker once noted it was mysterious to him that I am really tough but people don’t hate my guts. He pinned it down to “you are never mean to people.” Whaddayaknow? That actually makes a difference!

  1. You can curse with people, but not at them

I actually offered this up as a piece of mentoring advice to a protégé about a month ago. It was a bit tongue in cheek, but in my opinion, rather sound advice. Cursing in the workplace can be fun, it builds camaraderie in the tough times, helps break the ice, can help build authentic trust (I swear!). But you absolutely must not swear at people. Because that is mean, and rude, and you will regret it.

  1. If you want to be respected, you absolutely must not show the world your cleavage

I work in a male-dominated field, so I realize this rule may not apply everywhere. But I imagine it applies most places. If you want to be respected, you need to keep it under wraps, because once you have revealed yourself, so to speak, it just can’t be undone. I’ve seen a lot of younger professionals make the mistake of too sexy clothing or the friendly flirt. Great if you intend to stay a junior engineer forever, not so great if you plan to advance in the world. Now in case you want to accuse me of being sexist, I will note that this rule applies equally to men.

  1. Everyone is afraid

I’m going to admit that everyone is not equally afraid. But they are afraid. Knowing this fact is one of the keys to confidence. People who lack confidence manage to think they are the only ones. Several years ago I had a coworker say to me “But Nicki, you aren’t ever afraid are you?” Well, yes indeed I am, very frequently, just like everyone else. You know why? Because I am not a sociopath.

Hmm, now I am getting the urge to write 5 completely obvious things about parenting. Sounds risky, but I hear fear is completely natural!

Statistically speaking, we’re about to get more miserable

Nicki Pozos1 Comment

According to the economist I am about to take a big dive in life satisfaction – well, actually, it’s “self-reported well being.” As if we GenXers didn’t have it hard enough, it seems that regardless of generational cohort, life satisfaction takes a dive starting in the late 30s and bottoming out at around 50. The way I see it, the bad news is that our life satisfication should be steadily decreasing right now – the good news is that we’re not 50 yet.

The question is what to do about this trend. I can really understand that, given all that people have going on in their 30s and 40s it can be pretty difficult to make space for those things that may increase our sense of happiness. They do note that having children in the house tends to lower one’s score, so I suppose I could just hold my breath until the kids leave. But as Nadia is only 2 months old, this doesn’t seem like a particularly good plan. It seems their main theory is that as we age we are more able to live in the present and be less judgemental and reactive.

The good news about statistics is that you can always beat the mean.

It makes me wonder about how much in these decades we are resisting our lives – resisting the actual careers, children, and homes we have. Striving for the next thing – or perhaps just pining for something different. Or perhaps it’s just that constant stress of feeling that we never have enough time to get to what’s important. The question is how can we still strive to make our lives better and more meaningful, without resisting our lives the way they are now? 

So, my challenge for 2011 is to try to create more time/energy in my life. Because it’s not so much that my life takes up all my time, as much as it takes up all my energy. And I do believe much of that energy drain is indeed resistance to what already is. So, my plan is to use a trick – engage in activities that create energy in the little time that I have, thereby creating more energy/time. That, and do my darndest to not resist all the time I need to spend on all the other necessary things in my life. Hmm, we’ll have to see how that one works out!

Anyone out there been successful in bending the time/space continium and creating the sense of more time?

Can GenX have its cake and eat it too?

Nicki Pozos6 Comments

For many GenExers, empowerment at work is defined as knowing that they can walk out whenever they want. In my experience, they usually have a back-up plan to facilitiate this sense of “security” which I’ll call Plan B – this is the sensible back-up plan, comprised of everything from building marketable skills to knowing which other firms might hire you in a pinch. A GenXer without a Plan B is an unhappy GenXer.

But this isn’t the only back-up plan. Most GenExers I know have a Plan F – which would be Plan Fantasy. This invariably includes starting their own business of some sort – which is why I used to refer to this as the “retail phenomenon.” I had noticed that many of my peers harbored dreams of starting some sort of retail business – bakeries, clothing stores, flower shopes, the list goes on. The important thing was that it represented a strong personal interest – basically, it’s a business that is a true expression of the individual ( a strong source of meaning for GenX). Most GenXers dream of quitting their regular job and living their Plan F . However, because of a combination of GenX practicality and cynicism, few of these Plan Fs ever see the light.

So, I’m going to throw out an idea that maybe GenX should take a middle road – of having their cake and eating it too. Meaning, having their meaning (dream) and keeping their corporate job. Perhaps it is not just a choice between working for the man (financial security) and taking Plan F (having a meaningful life). Maybe what is needed is a new army of part-time workers who spend half their time in corporate america, and the other half building businesses that reflect their passions. I would hypothesize that the energizing effect of the side businesses would in many cases improve performance in their corporate jobs.

It is considered completely acceptable at many companies for mothers to work part-time when they have small children (and I’m sure at some enlightened companies this attitude would extend to dads). But working part-time to engage in another business activity would be seen as just a step out the door. But what if it were not? Would this finally engage GenXers en masse in their organizations?