GenX

Generation X

Transformation starts with meeting people where they are

Nicki PozosLeave a comment

Are you standing your ground and missing an opportunity to make a difference?

This year I had the pleasure to attend a Duarte training based on the books Resonate and Slideology. I learned a lot about presentations, but also something more. I realized that transformation starts with meeting people where they are. In Duarte we were talking about connecting emotionally during presentations, at the heart center, but it is equally as true at the gut center and head center. And here’s how:

  1. Connecting Emotionally at the Heart Center

I’ve done a whole lot of PowerPoint in my life, but I learned one thing at the training that transformed the way I see presentations. In the past I’ve thought a lot about walking the audience through a story, but Resonate takes it a step further by focusing on the audience’s emotional state ~ both where they are at now and where you want to take them. Nancy Duarte (@nancyduarte) also discovered a pattern common to great speeches, where they alternate between where the audience is now and the future condition you want to take them to. People are not transformed in the first iteration, you have to keep going back to bring them with you!

  1. Connecting Energetically at the Gut Center

For the gut center, it made me think of the amazing book “Winning Body Language” by Mark Bowden. One topic Mark covers is four “planes” at which you can hold your arms, which correspond with increasing levels of energy as your arms move up through the levels. They start with the Grotesque Plane with arms at your sides all the way through the Ecstatic Plane with your arms above shoulder level. That correlation is in itself fascinating (and I highly recommend the book) but the aspect that relates to transformation is the fact that if you want to change the energy level of an audience you need to start by meeting them where they are. Indeed, if you are more than one level separated from your audience, you will feel dissonant. I imagine you may have experienced this, being in a pretty “dead” audience first thing in the morning and being subjected to a very high energy presenter. When the audience energy is low, the high energy speaker feels more manic than energizing! As a high-energy person who works with a lot of lower energy engineers, I use the techniques in the book to consciously bring my energy level down.

  1. Connecting Intellectually at the Head Center

When it comes to the head center, it makes me think of a conversation I had with a protégé some months ago. She is passionate about changing the organization she works for, intentionally deviating from organizational norms in an effort to show an alternate way of thinking. Instinctually, her reaction when a small action doesn’t create change is to try an even larger action. I have to admit I was doing pretty much exactly the same thing when I was in my twenties. The greatest insight of my twenties could be well summed up as, “people don’t care about what they don’t care about.” The advice I gave her is that if she wants to change the organization she needs to start by meeting the company leadership where they are, then help them move from that position. It doesn’t work to just stand in her corner and yell louder and louder.

So how does this apply to leadership? As leaders we can use the same principle ~ transformation starts with meeting people where they are. This means acknowledging and connecting with where they are energetically, emotionally and intellectually then moving them towards a different future. Joining them where they are is commiseration, talking about a positive future disconnected from current reality is just dissonance. Taking them on a journey from where they are to a new place ~ now that is leadership.

What about you? Is there a situation in your life where you are holding your ground and missing an opportunity for transformation?

#Womensleadership #GenY #leadershipdevelopment #resonate #bodylanguage

Who would we be without our story?

Nicki Pozos2 Comments

I had lunch yesterday with a pretty amazing GenX. Yes, he is another engineer, but he dreams of changing the school system so that personal development gets as big a play as chemistry or physics. Of course, he pointed out that this dream would never happen because he thought it improbable that Obama was going to call him up to revise national curriculum standards. Alas, this made me think of some pretty (non) amazing thing about our generation.

1. The oh so defeating habit of black and white thinking. The way he was seeing it was either (A) Obama calls or (B) there is nothing to be done. This kind of thinking is common, not only among GenX. But I think in our case it may just be somewhat conveniently self-defeating. We manage to make the dream side of the equation so overwhelmingly huge and impossible, that we can’t help but choose not to pursue it. Of course, in reality, there are all sorts of shades of gray. Because he’s right – Obama is not going to call.

2. We are constantly cutting ourselves off at the knees. There is something about the “practical” tendencies of GenX that can really get in the way of being clear about what we want. We are so busy arranging and modifying what we want based on what we think is possible, that it is hard to remember what we were wanting in the first place. I am not a believer that everyone can live their passion or dream exactly how they want it (and still make a living). But, I do think there is something to be said for actually being clear on what you want.

3. We could learn a lot from GenY. Needless to say, there are many things they could learn from us. But, one thing they’ve got down is they being clear on what they like and want. Perhaps it’s because they’ve been declaring their preferences online since they were kids, or because they grew up in a child-centric world, but I just don’t see the same tendency to let practicality get in the way of their passion. They are frankly much worse at faking interest in things they aren’t interested in, whereas we have a pretty easy time focusing on assimilating skills that are marketable, whether or not we find them personally interesting or fulfilling. There is something really pure about that aspect of GenY – aside from making for a lot of highly entertaining YouTube Videos it also creates a lot of possibilities for change in the world.

It all made me think about the words of Byron Katie “Who would you be without your story?” Who would we be without our story? This story we have about being powerless and unable to create the changes we want to see in the world. What would the world be like without our story?

As for my friend, he did end up envisioning all sorts of possibilities that were not so far beyond his reach. Which is a good thing, because the world needs us and our ideas. If you dropped your story, how would you be changing the world?

The ambivalent overachiever – a new GenX breed?

Nicki Pozos7 Comments

Overachievers of past generations seemed to aim straight for the top – seemingly to presume that if you could get to the top that you should. Alas, I believe GenX has created a new breed – the ambivalent overachiever. This breed is not so obsessed with whether they can get to the top, but whether they want to. There is a sense that such ambivalence would not be so appreciated by the powers that be, so most ambivalent overachievers are out there masquerading as “normal” dedicated employees. They are indeed often quite successful, as GenXers tend to be rather perceptive about how to play the game (if they choose to play it).

The overachievement part is motivated by a variety of factors. First and foremost – success gives you options. And every GenX knows that options are power. Overachievement probably means you can walk out the door, if things are not working out. Very important even if you are actually quite happy with your current employment. 

Of course, ambivalent or not, many of us overachieve simply because we actually care about what we are doing. Even if it not our dream job (our Plan F), there is some meaning to be gained from just doing something well, to doing your best. Part of this is not just about what we are doing, but who we are doing it for. Though GenXers are notoriously cynical about organizations, we can still be inspired by and loyal to people ~ whether those people are clients, coworkers, or “the boss.”

The question is, can this breed become the next generation of leaders? Can leadership and ambivalence coexist? It seems that the GenX habit of having one foot subconsciously out the door may be incompatible with leadership. Or maybe it is just going to change the way leadership looks and feels. The question is, can you be an effective leader in an organization without drinking the kool-aid? What do you think?

Statistically speaking, we’re about to get more miserable

Nicki Pozos1 Comment

According to the economist I am about to take a big dive in life satisfaction – well, actually, it’s “self-reported well being.” As if we GenXers didn’t have it hard enough, it seems that regardless of generational cohort, life satisfaction takes a dive starting in the late 30s and bottoming out at around 50. The way I see it, the bad news is that our life satisfication should be steadily decreasing right now – the good news is that we’re not 50 yet.

The question is what to do about this trend. I can really understand that, given all that people have going on in their 30s and 40s it can be pretty difficult to make space for those things that may increase our sense of happiness. They do note that having children in the house tends to lower one’s score, so I suppose I could just hold my breath until the kids leave. But as Nadia is only 2 months old, this doesn’t seem like a particularly good plan. It seems their main theory is that as we age we are more able to live in the present and be less judgemental and reactive.

The good news about statistics is that you can always beat the mean.

It makes me wonder about how much in these decades we are resisting our lives – resisting the actual careers, children, and homes we have. Striving for the next thing – or perhaps just pining for something different. Or perhaps it’s just that constant stress of feeling that we never have enough time to get to what’s important. The question is how can we still strive to make our lives better and more meaningful, without resisting our lives the way they are now? 

So, my challenge for 2011 is to try to create more time/energy in my life. Because it’s not so much that my life takes up all my time, as much as it takes up all my energy. And I do believe much of that energy drain is indeed resistance to what already is. So, my plan is to use a trick – engage in activities that create energy in the little time that I have, thereby creating more energy/time. That, and do my darndest to not resist all the time I need to spend on all the other necessary things in my life. Hmm, we’ll have to see how that one works out!

Anyone out there been successful in bending the time/space continium and creating the sense of more time?

Can GenX have its cake and eat it too?

Nicki Pozos6 Comments

For many GenExers, empowerment at work is defined as knowing that they can walk out whenever they want. In my experience, they usually have a back-up plan to facilitiate this sense of “security” which I’ll call Plan B – this is the sensible back-up plan, comprised of everything from building marketable skills to knowing which other firms might hire you in a pinch. A GenXer without a Plan B is an unhappy GenXer.

But this isn’t the only back-up plan. Most GenExers I know have a Plan F – which would be Plan Fantasy. This invariably includes starting their own business of some sort – which is why I used to refer to this as the “retail phenomenon.” I had noticed that many of my peers harbored dreams of starting some sort of retail business – bakeries, clothing stores, flower shopes, the list goes on. The important thing was that it represented a strong personal interest – basically, it’s a business that is a true expression of the individual ( a strong source of meaning for GenX). Most GenXers dream of quitting their regular job and living their Plan F . However, because of a combination of GenX practicality and cynicism, few of these Plan Fs ever see the light.

So, I’m going to throw out an idea that maybe GenX should take a middle road – of having their cake and eating it too. Meaning, having their meaning (dream) and keeping their corporate job. Perhaps it is not just a choice between working for the man (financial security) and taking Plan F (having a meaningful life). Maybe what is needed is a new army of part-time workers who spend half their time in corporate america, and the other half building businesses that reflect their passions. I would hypothesize that the energizing effect of the side businesses would in many cases improve performance in their corporate jobs.

It is considered completely acceptable at many companies for mothers to work part-time when they have small children (and I’m sure at some enlightened companies this attitude would extend to dads). But working part-time to engage in another business activity would be seen as just a step out the door. But what if it were not? Would this finally engage GenXers en masse in their organizations?

Message from a lost generation

Nicki Pozos2 Comments

I’ve long been fascinated by generational differences in the workplace. Well, to be more honest, I’ve long been fascinated by my own generation – in case, you hadn’t figured it out, that would be GenX. I suppose in the end, that just means I’m fascinated by myself, but what can I say, it always helps to start with a test case.

Reading about GenX was when I first tapped into how deeply cynical I am. And this is me – a person whom I believe many would describe as almost annoyingly upbeat and ready to conquer the world. But the truth is that I can be as cynical as any GenXer – especially when it comes to organizations and the possibility that they can ever change.  

But lately in the media, all I ever hear about is Millennials or GenYs, whichever you prefer to call them. Though I realize many are tearing out their hair trying to integrate the new generation into the workplace, all I can think is “what about me?!” Okay, to be sound a bit less egocentric, my real concern?  Is GenX just turning into a lost generation? Are we going to be like Prince Charles, with the throne being passed right over our head (as Kate Middleton seems to be on the cover of every magazine I see, I am thinking royal family references still work in the U.S.)?

Alas, it seems like we may be lost in two senses of the world – both in the sense of becoming invisible, and also in the sense of being lost in our search for meaning.

So, I decided to start a blog. Both to share the thoughts whipping around my brain about my generation, plus some some adjacent random musings that are likely completely unrelated to my birth year.